Saturday, September 10, 2011

LBC: Things I don't tell about myself

This is my weekly post with the Loose Bloggers Consortium (LBC) including Rummuser, Anu, Ashok, Gaelikka, Grannymar, Conrad, Padmum, Anki, Will Knott, Maria The Silver Fox, Nema ,Paul, Plain Joe, Rohit, Magpie, Delirious, and myself, where we have a Weekly topic to discuss. Please visit their blogs to get different views about this. This Friday's topic has been chosen by Gaelikka and Anu.

I talk about myself a lot. Choose a random post here, and you'll see what I mean. They say write about what you know, and I know myself. Yet, there's a lot of things I don't share with others. I'm excited to hint at them, though I don't talk about them for a reason and I hope I don't say too much.

First off, I don't talk about how how well I do at school or college. I never felt comfortable doing that. I'll reply with one word if asked and then change the topic. I don't want that to define who I am.

Then, there's all these details I won't share unless you ask. Even if you ask, I'll refuse to say sometimes. I contradict myself when it comes to this point, I'll share random useless information with my friends. I always find myself wanting to apologize for that, but then again there are things that I hold back. For an example, how I'm feeling, details about my family or my friends, incidents, things like that. I guess when you grow up (no, I'm not there yet and though I have a long way to go, I find that I'm on the way) you become less and less open with anyone. I'll give you the impression that I can tell you everything if you're willing to lend me an ear, but it's not quite true. I'm not leading you on though, far from that in fact. I am a talkative person by nature, but you have to give me time for me to able to feel comfortable enough to share my inner thoughts. It just isn't as easy as it used to be.

I won't tell you about my insecurities, I won't dwell much on my dreams. I thought before starting writing about these things I'd manage to say a lot, but now my mind's going blank. I think it's because it refuses to share these things. I'll just wrap up with why I think I hold back from telling these things. I like keeping a few things to myself. Sometimes it's because I don't want to bore you with all these details and instead I'd rather listen. I guess there's also a part deep down that doesn't feel comfortable having people know so much about me, then they'd start getting under my skin. Sometimes these things that I choose to not talk about, are very serious to me so I'd hate for them to be ignored or made light of, which happens only because I can't say how much they mean to me or because people simply can't understand. Then there's a part of me that hopes you get those unsaid things without me saying them.There are a lot of reasons, and I guess it's only normal.

The ironic part about this post is that it's gonna get published with so much yet to be told but we'll leave it at that.


Rohit said...

This post was...well, let's just say sincere :-) Having known you for all these years Noor I can totally relate to some of the things you say. But you may find that opening up a bit more may actually make u feel more liberated. We always feel the need to keep a part of us private but then isn't that part made up of nothing but thoughts? Thoughts, ideas, concepts...they come and go. Don't let them bind u or limit your experience of life in any way. Nice post though, honesty on display again :-)

Maria from SilverFox said...

I think you gave us a little snippet of who you are and that was enough for me to see you as a real person with all the doubts, fears, and triumphs that we all experience.

I know I found it difficult to write about this subject, and after I did, I was glad I took the challenge.

Rummuser said...

This is a good beginning and I think that with more posts, you will open up. We are all like you. We don't reveal everything about ourselves to everybody. Most of us carry many secrets to our graves/crematoriums. So, you are quite normal.

Noor said...

@Rohit I couldn't agree more. I'm really trying, though it's hard. It is liberating. There's always gonna be something held back, something your words can never convey so there's always that to be kept private.
Thanks for your comments, you have no idea how much I appreciate them :)

@Maria I'm glad it made you think so. I know, it was a challenge and I agree it's kind of good letting it out. It puts things into perspective.

@Rummuser I'm glad you think so. I'll keep trying, I know that my blog helps me make sense of my thoughts that always haunt me.
Thanks for stopping by :D

Anonymous said...

It's sensible to be conscious of the personal information you divulge, because people will define you by it. If you're fairly open it doesn't matter so much - but the information bank on you held by friends and acquaintances will be broad and regularly refreshed. But if you only give away a little, think carefully what it will be.

Ruqaiya said...

"They say write about what you know, and I know myself." Nicely put.I like just how honest you are about things, and that's very hard to do.