Sunday, November 24, 2013

This shade of green

The grass is greener on the other side. 

This is something I keep thinking about, always because I'd rather be 'there' when I'm 'here'. Sometimes, regardless of where these places are. We sit here knowing we can't be there, and from our distance we see only the color but we're not close enough to see the weeds and thorns of there. The demons of there are invisible to our eyes, you haven't even vanquished the demons of here yet. Imagine going there carrying those with you. Too many demons for you to fight at once.

Our vision is just too blinded by the beautiful green of there, and our shade here pales in comparison. This is the illusion of there. This is one the of gravest flaws of us humans, we're never satisfied until we've exhausted our options. It's good to an extent, it pushes us forward so that we never stay where we are, but more often than not, it makes us never ever satisfied, always looking for the next thing. Always looking for that better shade of green. Only ask for there, when you've smelled the flowers of here thoroughly, when you've sat on the grass staring at the stars at night getting lost in their beautiful light, when you've taken endless walks on the pavements, when you've carved your name on trees and met everyone you're supposed to meet here.

If your smiles are strained here, work on making your heart smile first so that smiling becomes easier on your lips. If your steps are heavy here, unload the world from your shoulders, it's not a weight that was meant to be carried by you. If your hands can't hold unto anything and you're falling fast here, steady yourself on the certainty of here. The sunlight will show up tomorrow, it never failed you before, has it? If that doesn't help, fall freely. The fall won't last forever, the ground of here will feel firm under your feet after you stand again.

If nothing works, maybe here's not for you. But unless you've tried to make it your own, you'll never truly know.
We need to find pleasure in the substance of here, rather than dwell on the pale of its green.

Saturday, November 16, 2013


Today I read a book that made me think about my blog's name.
I thought about changing it a lot, I mean I've had this blog for a few years now and surely I've managed to spread my wings by now, right?
I'm not so sure.

Maybe I don't feel like there's any point in spreading them anymore because, well, I can't really fly. And if I could, my feelings of being caged/trapped by myself would be too strong for me to even attempt flying.

"I wonder what you will do with your wings once you have found them. I wonder how far away they will take you. And I fear them, for my sake, at the same time that I hope for them, for yours." 

I wish I could feel free and fly. My ultimate goal is to be tied down to nothing. So perhaps, till I can safely say I mastered that art, the blog name remains as it is.

And I remain yours,