Friday, March 30, 2007

life = dramatic

I have some updates to fill you -dear reader- with. Life has been very dramatic and this exact word I never thought I would describe my life with. I thought 'dramatic' only suits something like 'Days Of Our Lives'. Which has so much drama and you feel so depressed after watching. I after watching like more than probably one hundred episode quit watching it. I can no longer bear trouble after trouble and no bright light to keep you hoping for better things to happen.
So you might wonder the reason why my life is shaping up as a dramatic soup-opera! There are various reasons as a matter of fact. There are reasons which are beyond me and there are reasons below me.
The ones that I can not comprehend I might as well tell you about.
What do you imagine me to do if the training teacher doesn't understand anything? I may be doing her a bit injustice for what does a person whose major is chemistry know about astrology? I admit that through out the numerous days of being in school I now have a good observation on teachers, I can tell when they have no idea about what they are speaking of, I can tell when they do not wish to be in the classroom, I can tell when they hate/love me. It is very obvious now. It is a skill I have acquired by being stuck with my teachers. And this trainer has absolutely no idea what she is teaching. Poor her, I hope she survives this semester by my side.
So besides clueless teachers, there is really much going on that I have no idea why is it this way.
I am somehow overwhelmed :D
There are various projects which have to be done. There are some new cool songs. There hasn't been any good movie. There hasn't been any good dream not that there ever was :P
So here are the updates that I can tell you. I do not know if I should proceed but my eyes refuse for there isn't more to say and I have a hard time keeping my eyes open.
I am sorry for not updating sooner but here I am... Now I have done my part, I must away at this exact minute. As I am wrapping this up. It is not only me leaving, you shalt close this page now because there are no more words to read.
Good Night...

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Can you smile? :D

I am sure every one comes across situations where one wonders about the reason certain things take place. I am sure every one has been through something, and why that thing happened is still a mystery. Have you ever failed and thought why? Have you ever did something wrong but you knew it wasn't your fault? Ever wondered who's to blame on why things seem only to be heading the wrong way in this world?
If the questions above were answered with yes, then please read on.

The blame for everything that is happening simply goes to this person writing. It is not enough that I blame myself for everything, NO... I have to share my life with someone who blames me for everything.
I wouldn't be surprised to know that it is my fault that the world is coming to an end! But I always wonder if the world is really coming to an end. Could it be? I refuse to think so, and I will never think so. How can the world come to an end when there is still a soul on this earth trying to make things better? It can not come to an end as long this one, single, helpless soul is alive. And now there is more than this lone soul. I have sensed more than one.
There is hope. There will always be. Just try to be optimistic for a day. I have had it with people acting like nothing can be done now to change the world, like the situation on this earth is so hopeless. Enough with pessimist people. We need something to keep us holding on, why can't this be our hope?
If there isn't hope then why are you reading? Why are you breathing? Why do you bother to open your eyes in the morning? Why.....? Why.....? etc.
Like it or not, you can feel hope, you can sense the bright light, this brings a smile to your face. As long as you are able to smile then there is nothing to fear...

This is not just some optimistic words from I, these are some optimistic words from someone who is willing to go to the end of the world to prove that you still can smile. I am sure hope lies somewhere within you. Do not try to find it, just try to show it :D
At last, hopefully I made my point clear. And just so you know... Not everything is my fault so do not come after me and start blaming me. Only some things are my fault, as everyone else. No one is perfect so I do make mistakes and I do have a few things to be blamed for.

Friday, March 16, 2007

One Wish...

So today we had the party. Imagine one person coming to your party! It is not because people didn't show up. It is because only one person was asked to be there. Only one person was asked, because there wasn't any one else who was welcomed to the glorious celebration. Those are not the real reasons, for no one knows the real reasons. It was not a planned event so you can not expect much.

It went as smoothly as it could. We had so much fun. As you can tell, three girls being in one room only means non-stopped chattering. Crazy photos were taken which only 3 or 4 can be considered as good. Still those pictures with weird expressions can only add to the party more -a word is escaping from my head- joy. Joy? Not the word I was looking for but one word or another has to fill the space so that I can carry on with my post.

The yearly gift was given and read. It was what any one could ever ask for. It meant the world and offered the world. It was.... Why should I tell? Let it pass without my fingers typing it.
It is only today that I realized it is OK to now be 15. It is great to have grown a year. I only mean by that intellectually. But it did not happen in the blink of an eye neither did it happen in a really hard work. It just happened without giving itself a proper explanation.
From today, I can safely say that I look forward to the days to come. I can face the hard ones. I can live through out every day of my life with my head up. Not in the sky but among other people. Looking at their faces to see that we are all on the same level.

Coming back to the party, the cake was good. lol, well... and the food was good. I for once didn't eat so much as to make myself sick. The person who attended our party had her way of making us eat without feeling the food. I dressed up, it doesn't happen so often so again that was fun.
I am still 14 though. Yes, it is not today that I am officially 15 but it is the exact date that I am greeting my birthday.
I had (have) one wish. Let us hope it shalt come true. One day or another I am sure it will. It is not a big wish. Just a simple one, OH! please do come true.
Now, since today was a party... I didn't have time to do school work, meaning: tomorrow will be a busy day. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is no other than any other day. Tomorrow will be what it was meant to be -what I will make out of it-
Good night for now. It is only a smile drawn on the face of the writer. Future seems bright!

Friday, March 9, 2007

Oh Welcome, life ahead!

It has been more than 14 years. Four of them I can not even recall anything from. Another four I started to make sense out of things. The remaining six are what I can recall somehow clearly. You have been there with every step. You have been there to walk by my side. Isn't this a VERY long period of time? When will you leave me? I am sure it's not anytime soon. But one can only dream of things. I will be 15 very soon and your picture never faded away.
Will this go on for the rest of my life? I am not complaining, dear reader. I am only expressing some thoughts which are on my mind lately. If this is how my life will continue to be, then I am the first to be holding some flowers as a welcome to every year as those years which are ahead of me come, I will be the first to greet as they behold the same life I am leading now with the same person.
Life is bearable because of this person's existence. If there wasn't someone always available to yell at, criticise every movement that person makes, talk to that person's ears continually, laugh at/with, run after, etc. then I don't know how would I ever go on living this life between four walls which keep me prisoned.
I long for those coming years if only that person was still there, I can keep on breathing and fighting in this life if there was this person to tell me what's right by saying it is wrong. And teaching me what's wrong by saying it is right!
So the next year can be only the same. And that is a good thing. No matter what happens, no matter what experiences I go through, there will always be this person who is able to finish my sentences when words become my enemy and betray me.
So no more to say, except for a memory of those six years which are crowned as the best years of my life. WHY? One simple reason: Those are the only years which linger on my memory!

PS: As always this is not a compliment. Nor it is waiting to hear a 'Thank you'. It is no more than a blog post!? HA! Well, of course not! But do not act formal and say 'OH'! Just smile and move on with the rest of the day.

Thursday, March 8, 2007


My beginnings in here are always something like: I do not know what to write, or here I am writing some words but still I have no idea what to write about. This time it shall be different because I am not saying I don't know what to write. This will be special. This will be different. This has a meaning. This will be a plead or a prayer to let words come out of my mouth. I am always sitting and writing anything that I think of. This time it is different. I want it to be, I hope it to be, I ask it to be. I do not know if it will be different.
Please, be different!

I think the earlier paragraph only proved this was different. YES, it was different. How can I ask it to be different and not have it be different? Do not you answer what you plead for? I believe so. Sitting around and waiting for an angel to pop up and tell you 'your wishes, my demands' doesn't happen. I am deeply sorry that it was only I who broke this to you. Angels do help us but they do not help the ones who sit waiting for their wants to be filled. I know, I can hear someone saying 'This is cliche' but hey... Cliche isn't always boring!? Or is it? Ah, I do not care to know. Cliche will remain cliche and nothing will ever change. Like it or not, sometimes there isn't anything better than cliche. Now do not come after me and ask 'How?' Because you and I know that I can not answer such a question.

I hate being in the position of the person answering other people's questions. I feel like I am out of my skin. Do not ask, give me the chance to form my questions and you shall hear all kinds of questions. Just do not ask.
Now, I do not know if I said all I wanted to say. Today has been truly good. It was very fruitful. Waking up at 8 in the morning while you have a weekend is azazing. It helped me do so much. I actually for the first time -voluntarily- searched for some school work. I still have a lot to do, but I did SOMETHING. Well, I just had to say these few words about doing some school work. It has to be written so that I have the proof. I will keep bragging about it for sometime until again I return to not doing any extra school work -voluntarily-
Good night now. Hope this was different.
Till next time we meet, take care.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Thursday left...

uhh... hmmm.... I'm sure there is someone reading. I am sure you want to know the words that are written in here. I can see you reading but your face expressions are bleary. I do not wish to hear/see the reactions my words make. I enjoy the feeling of only readable expressions. Try and make some sense out of these words because I lost all sense. Just let me try to express this state of being. With no apparent reason I am feeling blue. Is it because of some reason? I do not know, I do not even think so. It is very uncomfortable. Let me try to cheer up though. Today is Thursday and I love Thursdays. It is the exact reason I didn't go to sleep till now even though I feel sleepy. If I went to sleep certain things would follow which I do not wish to happen. It would mean that Friday is closer. It would mean that The moment I open my eyes I will remember the tonnes of things I have to do. It would mean that this week comes to an end. Isn't it funny how it is so easy for things that you've worked so hard for to come crashing down?

So all of these are letters combined together to make word. Words which can behold great meanings. Do you ever think twice before saying a word? How about a whole sentence then? No? Maybe being too much careful isn't good but again shouldn't we think about what we say so that we can know for sure that we are responsible for what we say? Therefore I shall try to think before I say anything. I am not sure it will work. As you hear the thought twice through your inner voice it loses its meaning. Hearing it for the second time in your voice as you say it is so much different because then all you would care for is simply making what you said clearer or in most cases you would think: It doesn't matter now, I said it. I can never decide if I should think twice before saying something or just let the words shape in a sound? But I can live my life normally and still feel confused about this. :D
Thursday has come to an end. There is no reason for me to stay anymore writing. If Thursday has left me then why shouldn't I simply surrender to this and go sleep soundlessly? I think I will follow Thursdays lead. Good night dear reader who will finish this post but her/his expressions are still bleary.

PS: If you were like the person writing and thought that 'readable' wasn't a word then I suggest you to take the writer's lead and check the dictionary.

Ups and Downs

It has been a while since I last posted in here. You must know how it is when school makes you feel like you do not have a life. I do not want to waste my time complaining on how is school like. I have wasted enough of my time. Yesterday we went to the 'Book Fair' in Muscat which is a yearly event where you can see books from all over the world. I was so excited as I entered the building. I had the list of the books that I wanted in my bag. It was the high light of a long period of time. We even got the latest book by my dad.
Yesterday was fun even though I was up for more than 19 hours. We had fun. Alot has happened like we got the school results this week. And being in the music team we had to go for the try outs for some contest. They chose us after listening to our playing for 1 minute. They now want us to miss classes and show up for the training. Will we be forced to go even though we do not want to? I am not sure. I hope not though.
These days I have no idea what is going on in this world. I haven't watched TV in so long, I haven't posted anything on VOY in a long time.
The biggest thing that has happened is that once we steped in the school we saw our teacher and one of our friends talking. We didn't understand but we walked along. Then our friend told us that one of our classmate's dad passed away. She has been with us in the same class more than five years. It was very sad. Everyone has their time but sometimes you can not help saying 'why?'
Death is a natural thing and we all will face it someday *double checks the last sentence and realizes that I am only 14*
Nothing more to say in here. So long dear readers.