Saturday, September 10, 2011

HBBC: Forgive and Forget

Welcome to The Half-Baked Bloggers Consortium's (HBBC) second post. Meet the members here.
This week's topic is Forgive and forget, chosen by Noor Al Zubaidy (me). Please take the time to view the members' blogs just as you viewed mine in order to get different perspectives about the same topic.
 Life puts us in all kinds of situations. We've all been wronged, by a friend, a classmate, a stranger. Anger comes first. What did I ever do to that person, I don't deserve this, life's so unfair! You start questioning yourself and the people around you. At the end, you force yourself to think that we all wrong others, and it happens to the best of us. Call it a mistake, imperfection, misjudgement. It's all the same. You learn to forgive, thinking that you have to treat others the way you want to be treated. You forgive. Holding a grudge for a long time isn't healthy. It feels good letting it go. You try putting it behind you when you're with that person. You learn. You grow. These experiences, regardless of how painful and disappointing they can be, really help you become a better person. 

The second part is the hardest though, forgetting. It's not an act of will. It's out of your hands. You can't help remember these incidents, and though you've moved on, they come back to you at times. You find yourself asking your brain to forget. I always wondered why we don't forget as easily, does it mean we haven't completely forgiven that person? I don't like to think so. I don't know why our brain chooses to cling to those memories. Is it to remind ourselves of what people are capable of? Is it because it's an experience we should remember to never forget the lesson it taught us? What is it? Why do we remember? In all honesty, I'd choose to forget. I'd rather keep the lesson than the memory. I don't like how my memory works. When I remember those moments, I can't help feel a bit sad and I start questioning my forgiving abilities even though deep down I know for a fact that I've forgiven them.
I'd change this phrase to simple Forgive. That's a better advice. The Forget part makes me feel as if I'm missing out on a secret that allows you to choose to forget. Am I though? Or is it normal? Am I giving it way more importance than it deserves? 
So, forgive and if you can't forget then don't. Just don't hold a drudge. Be the better person. We all make mistakes


Ruqaiya said...

we're on the same page with this one!I might not necessarily hold a grudge against a person I've forgiven but it's so difficult to forget some times.

Maria from SilverFox said...

Heck, I have lived 3/4 of a Century and I am still learning the art of forgiving and forgetting. It is a life-long work in process. As I look back some of the things I have let go of seem so silly now that I find it hard to believe I gave them time and energy at all.

Unknown said...

I feel like I'm even more confused now on which comes first!! :D
I love how random this is though =)

Noor said...

@Rux I get ya! :D

@Maria Yes, you're right. They do seem silly after a while. Yet, we can't help thinking a huge deal of them when they're staring us in the face making us go through a difficult time.

This is perhaps like you say, an on-going process.

@Knee Yes, randomness is my middle name but thank you. I guess I had a lot to say and I just poured it out like that. :D