Stress Relief

Listening to: Hey Love - Jason Mraz (I am addicted to this song, and I proudly announce it. Owe it big time to ViC for introducing this song to moi!!! :D)
I'm just wasting time playing so I thought I'd just post some ramblings since I feel like it. there's nothing much to blog about really, but whateverr!

I don't want to ponder upon serious stuff, it's past midnight and pondering over deep stuff will surely take a bad turn and end up with me rambling over something I have no idea about, and when I read it next I'll be like 'Huh?!'... So, uhm... glad that's settled then. What shalt we address then?
**Thinking of something to talk about**

**still thinking**

**....**

Darn, I can't think of anything, decided topics are tough to talk about, plus I'm the worst person in the world to actually choose something or make a decision, my friends and family often tell me that I like not being responsible, and maybe I do, having someone to take care of matters is awesome! But I do realize the fact that I always need my people, I am a people's persona, can't live without 'em. I need the pep talk, and the conversations, the advices, and the.... compliments! Well, and what of it? We all do need some compliments to give us a push forward, it maybe bad to depend on them, and I don't really do that. I simply appreciate them, because they do a great job lifting your mood.
And I certainly have a gift for twisting the things I want to say into things that I don't mean, or it's just maybe that my message is coming off clear but I can't see it that way.
I know
I'm too attached...

So, yes I did need a random post... Again! It's like my let out, they help me talk about nothing really, yet take the load off my mind of the thoughts I have all day...
That will do it I think...

So Thank You People, you rule very much! Your comments, and words mean the world to me.
LISTEN TO HEY LOVE!!!
"Awful happens all the time, don't let it kill you'' Hey Love

Subtle Changes

Perhaps it is us who change, and not other people. Maybe, we are the ones who are getting harder to approach or have conversations with. It is easier to think it's other people, and I think I may have been thinking it's other people all the time before, now I think a little differently.
I may be the reason.
It could be happening in ways I have no control of, or a little control of. I am changing and it is hard to know why. I am not talking of drastic changes, but subtler ones. Changes I no longer can put my fingers on. It's ironic since my life is not going through any changes, but the changes are taking place in my mind... Perhaps it is because I live in my head (I say that a lot, but I somehow truly believe that I sometime do live there most of the time). It's actually something that's interesting, getting lost in thoughts that even I don't know the end of, or to where they lead but I just have to surrender myself to them to see where they lead.

I do realize I am still the clumsy girl who has to say everything there is to say about a topic to give it its justice and to explain it fully to the listener, and I also realize I have to make compromises, and to live and let live. It's funny how these simple yet affective things dawn on you in the least expected times...

How seeing these two women again made me think, how I actually remember them even though it's been years since I saw them, but they give great insight on the world because of what they've been through...

Perhaps we are simpletons, and perhaps our minds work in mysterious ways. All of this may have seemed vague, and I think that was the point, since the thoughts I'm having are vague themselves, so I think I am doing them justice by leaving them vague, yet they are very precise in my mind...

I'll leave you to ponder!

Enduring Love

I just finished reading Enduring Love, and as usual Ian McEwan's books never cease to be thought-provoking and very original. Although, the other works I've read for him (being Saturday and Atonement) were better, this one was nevertheless good in its own way.

I just would like to share a quote that I found to be amazingly true:
"It is clearly not true that without language there is no thought. I possessed a thought, a feeling, a sensation, and I was looking for its words."

Page 43
Enduring Love
Ian McEwan
Vintage

Trying

What of life? Is it too obscure to try and figure it out? Or simply too plain? I have been thinking about life a lot lately. I can't say I came up with a brilliant conclusion, but it definitely made me think more of myself and my life.
I find myself sometimes filled with a bit of disdain at how I let my life unravel itself, than actually trying to unravel it myself. Getting control of that feels good, very good!

I wanna end this post with lines from Jason Mraz's song Try Try Try:
"If we just live our lives,
putting our differences aside.
Oh, that would be so beautiful to me"

Thank you... <3

Routine, Randomness, Ravings

Do you sometimes feel the need for change? Wait, what am I saying, of course you do. Everyone does. I'm going through that phase now, mostly because my days have become extremely predictable. (except the fact that I always have a hard time knowing what to cook for lunch, so it's just calling my mom and talking to her about that, but then we decide on something predictable because, well, let's face it, as good a cook I am, I am somewhat limited... I keep cooking the same stuff, but it's not my fault, you can only jump from only knowing how to fry an egg to cooking chicken! So it's a slow thing... But the cooking is fun though, but I always forget something... Like either salt, dried lemon (no idea what you call it in English so I'm translating it literally! Sometimes the food is fahy (fahy is the Iraqi word for lacking flavour; salt, black peper, etc It's also used to descibe a person who drops things, and is clumsy, which is why I get called fahya all the time!...) and sometimes it's too salty, but we're definitely getting there...!!! but wait that's not the issue of dispute -I always wanted to say that-)

So, as I was saying, I'm craving change. I want to learn some new language that is exciting and sounds exotic!! Like speaking smooth Espanol, or Turkce, or Francias! I mean, these are the languages that I want to learn really, and I know how to say a thing or two in them, but it's not sufficient to carry on a conversation (at least with myself raving on and on, even if nobody understoof me. Or wander around in a new place, meet people, and just I don't know what really, but it's a need. I could've been learning French this Summer, but it just didn't happen. So what I'm saying is, either grant me the change I am craving, or (I'm a fair person, so I'll give another suggestion...) stop time, and let me sit on my bed doing nothing but reading and watching movies (so that I'm not left with anxiety about next year and the fact that Summer is bound to end eventually!)... I don't know who I'm demaning my requests from, but that's not what matters here really... I'm not depressed, it's on the contrary really, I'm feeling happy today, more chilledaxe (Huda's word really, but it's not like I'm violating copy-rights!) and so I thought of taking sometime to ponder over this since I'm in a good mood, which won't leave me feeling more depressed but more hopeful since inshallah everything will turn out alright...

So, that's my randomness for you today. I just can't help talking about a million thing in one breath, it's an old habit that's too deeply rooted to try and get rid of.
Rock and roll people!
FEE3O (Jordanian word which means have fun) ;)

Emma Watson

I WANT HER DRESS!!!! Is that so much to ask? It's GORGEOUS.... I just watched Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince so I'm caught up in the daze of it all, how brilliant it was... And Emma is just one fashion-icon, so I want that dress! Have I said that enough??!!

Smiiiile :)

Your Cute Monster Says Your Inner Demon is Sensitivity

You are a giving, open, loving person. You truly want the world to be a better place. You appreciate what you have in life. You are very content. You are very sensitive, and your sensitivity can be a double edged sword. People think you're cute because you're generous. You are easy to love - it's part of your charm.

The Cute Monster Test

I just love these kind of tests, the result is usually uplifting and it puts you in a good mood even if it's totally shallow and maybe untrue... But hey, I just thought I'd post a blabbering post since the last two were more literary posts, so yeah!
We had a walk on the beach today, I wish it was something more like "Pull me out on the beach, danced in the water" kind of walk, the weather was so hot, and we were soaked by the time we came back, but it felt very good to go out no matter what the weather is like.
It's Summer time, so feeling care free is part of the whole thing.
Hope everyone's Summer is awesome!!

<3

Orlando

I just finished reading Orlando by Virginia Woolf a few hours ago, and it was a new experience. Besides it being the first book I've read for Woolf, it was just surprisingly thought provoking and it's really a rich novel, I really liked. The little details, and the writing style, it's all brilliant.

So, here are a few quotes that I liked:

"Sunk for a long time in profound thoughts as to the value of obscurity, and the delight of having no name, but being like a wave which returns to the deep body of the sea... for, he thought Shakespeare must have written like that, and the church builders like that, anonymously needing no thanking or naming, but only their work in the day time, and a little ale perhaps at night...
Better it was to go unknown and leave behind you an arch, a potting shed, a wall where peaches ripen, than to burn like a meteor and leave no dust"
Pages 50, 51

"they will yet endure ridicule and misunderstanding than keep any experience to themselves"
Page 70
(they as in human beings, and I think this is the best quote ever, I just love it because I can easily relate to it, it's kind of the reason why I talk a lot, and she just puts it sooo well! Beautiful...)

I have to thank Mohammed for recommending this book, so thanks a lot!!!

Tender is the Night

F. Scott Fitzgerald's Tender is the Night is a good read, his descriptions are brilliant which is what kept me interested.

Here are a couple of quotes that I found interesting:
"His nose was somewhat pointed and there was never any doubt at whom he was looking or talking - and this is a flattering attention, for who looks at us? - glances fall upon us, curious or disinterested, nothing more." (I simply loved this one, it just feels so true!!)
Page 17

"He tried breaking into other dialogues, but it was like continually shaking hands with a glove from which the hand had been withdrawn."
Page 29

Tender is the Night
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Wordsworth Classics

The story of the Lost Banana

This is a story about how I stormed out of dinner, and The lost Banana. To see how it fits, read on...

***

It started out as any other day in this holiday,
lots of reading, cooking, and lazying around.
I was just trying to get through it until it all started happening
without me realizing it!

Although I've been noticing how easily we were getting into fights,
but that was normal,
two girls, stuck together... for a few years now,
what can they do?
They argue, and occasionally: pick up fights.
Usually pointless, fights that end two minutes after they start.
Sure, there are a few that last a couple of hours, but they all pass...
One such fight occurred that night,
the topic of the fight remains obscure.
She couldn't take it anymore so decided to go to her room,
she left dinner, although she was hungry,
she did it, much to her own amazement that she did it,
she started reading, but sometime later, she took a nap.
At 9 pm!
until 12 am.
She woke up, forgetting what was the fight about.
She managed to fall asleep at 6 am.
It was after reading, watching movies, and a lot of thinking.
How is it that our brain sometimes refuses to shut down when we want to sleep?
It's a curios thing to be honest.


But wait, how does the Lost Banana fit into all of that?
Well,
Earlier that day, she was offered a banana by her sister.
She declined.
To pay credit to her laziness, she decided to put it back in the fridge later,
the book was too interesting to put down.
After her nap,
she was asked whether she took the banana back.
She said No.
So, if neither of them took the banana back, where is it?
They tried searching for it to no avail.
It's just another lost item in their room, that is burdened with more that it can take.
But, what can you do?
You make the best out of what you have.
At least, the banana will eventually decompose.
What will happen to all the memories?
the long conversations? discussions? obsessions?
Will they simply become memories?
Or will it actually become a living history??

***

Birthday Ponderings

This post was written on the 18th of March this year, I was just browsing through my posts, and I came across it realizing that I never got to finish it, so it remained unpublished. However, I feel it deserves publishing, so I'll simply publish what was finished of it... :)

Special occasions are better appreciated with no expectations. I think I'm convinced with that fact, because of the many special days that much was supposed to happen. However when such things don't happen, you end up frustrated with how the day turned out to be.

I'm not speaking of codes. Lets say for an example when it's your birthday (yes, it's this occasion that made me post this). When it was my birthday, I didn't expect much and I wasn't in the jolliest spirit either. I wasn't feeling down or anything, but I wasn't expecting anything. I found out that it was better, I appreciated how many people wished me a Happy Birthday and was even surprised when I expected a regular day.
It was wonderful, because I appreciated -or I think I did- what happened and how the day turned out to be. I think when we expect it to be "all that", we end up feeling let down because the day didn't live up to our expectations, so instead of feeling happy because of your birthday or whatever it is your celebrating, you'd be sad at how it should be more.

I kept remembering what I was told, "Don't let anything get you down." It's surprising that I actually remembered it, I get so easily caught up in the moment. I get so easily distracted, and so easily too caught up with my work. It annoys me sometimes that I let myself be so easily caught up with life, and forget to appreciate it. I may be philosophizing what is happening, and I think upon re-reading this post I may not even understand what I was aiming at from the beginning but it just feels good to let it out loud and shout: "I'M HAPPY, ALTHOUGH I DON'T ALWAYS SHOW IT"

Amazon!

Amazon books have arrived!!!! I was so happy when my dad came into the house carrying them. I AM SO EXCITED TO READ THEM!!! :) Although there's still one that hasn't arrived, but it will... Here's what I got so far:
- The Book Theif - Markus Zusak (Too excited about this one!)
- New Moon - Stephenie Meyer
- Breakfast at Tiffany's - Trueman Capote
- The Good Earth - Pearl S. Buck (Excited about this one as well, Ashok recommended it, and he recommends good stuff!!)
- The Complete novels and stories (volume 1) - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

:D :D :D!

Tag

It's been a while since I've done tags, this one is about telling 7 things about yourself. I can talk about anything really, but don't ask me to talk about myself, I'd just pick 7 random things that are simply the silliest things, but it's my blog so I guess I'm entitled to some silliness here, right?
Tagged by Nema: http://nee-din-isolation.blogspot.com/
So here we go:

1. I love to read. (Obvious, no?) That's what I enjoy doing, but lately it's been that and just staring at my little nephew sleep, because he's the cutest little thing ever!!!!!!!
2. I'm a self-centered person. I know it, and I admit it.
3. I'm an optimist! I have a big goofy smile that's on my face for pretty much most of the time. I love to sing out loud, watch corny chick-flicks, and I easily find things to obsess about.
4. I'm still undecided about what I wanna be in the future (I know I've said that a bizillion times in my blog, but people don't seem to stop asking that question!!! It just bugs me how some people seem to be like "Oh my God, you haven't decided yet??!!)
5. I don't like sports; watching them, or exercising! My idea of an exercise is to just stand up, which I do a lot that I can watch TV while standing up, maybe a lame information, but it's true!
6. I want to go back to Istanbul!!! It was the best vacation I've had last Summer, and I'm finding myself this Summer wishing to go back there and to just live there, reading in parks, enjoying good food, and nice weather!!!
7. I talk a lot! I can tell you something more than once thinking I didn't before, it's partly because I talk a lot, and partly because I live inside of my head for most of the time....

Hmm that wasn't as tough as I thought it would be, although it took like a couple of days to finish it up, because I get distracted easily.
Anways! That's me in 7 random things, but don't think it covers it, it won't since everything else that I am won't fit in a list, since it's probably the day-to-day things that make a person.

I'm supposed to tag people, but I usually tag people and only a few answer the tag, so please feel free to feel tagged and answer it, I'd love to read it!! :)