Reading Take #00

I love reading, and I feel like a broken record when I say that. I have a lot of thoughts about books, reading, bookshops and stuff like that. So I'll start a series of posts about these things, because it'd be better to do it this way. I'll be able to voice out my thoughts and keep track of them.

This is simply an introductory post, so expect the first Reading Take very soon. :) I'm excited, are you?!

Yours,
Noor

The Idiot - Fyodor Dosteovesky

I finally wanted to read a classic because it's been ages since I read one. The Idiot was a very social novel focusing a lot on the Russian society back then. The idiot, Prince Myshkin, has just returned to Russia from Europe where he spent most of his life being treated there for epilepsy. He's a kind soul and very truthful. While he's in Russia he meets all sorts of interesting characters, specially the Espachins. I won't go into much detail but I love the Espachin family. They're just like a family you would find in today's world and you can definitely relate them to the madness of your own family (if they were mad that is). They're passionate and just unique. I felt that these most interesting characters made up somewhat for what the novel lacked which was a good plot, I know Dostoevsky was trying to say something about the Russian society but I felt that he could have done more with it, or I suppose he simply didn't because he wanted it like that. I really love the Russian society back then, I've only read 4 novels so far about that time but I just love love love the characters and their passion. How they can be very whimsical and very determined. It's very different from the classics about English society, though that has its own charm, but it's less about the language and more about ideas, people, the soul and how they always seem to be discussing how Russia could be better.
Crime and Punishment and The Brothers Karamazov were far better in my opinion. I'm not all that disappointed because I had no expectations of it to begin with but I can't help thinking it didn't measure up to Dostoevsky.

Quotes:
"But people will laugh at all sorts of things".
Page 127

"If he's alive he has everything in his power! Whose fault is it he doesn't understand that?"
Page 367

"But I'll add, that there is something at the bottom of every new human thought, every thought of genius, or even every earnest thought that springs up in any brain, which can never be communicated to others, even if one were to write volumes about it and were explaining one's idea for thirty-five years; there's something left which cannot be induced to emerge from your brain, and remains with you forever; and with it you will die, without communicating to anyone perhaps the most important of your ideas."
Page 368

"One can't understand everything at once, we can't begin with perfection all at once! In order to reach perfection one must begin by being ignorant of a great deal. And if we understand things too quickly, perhaps we shan't understand them thoroughly"
Page 518

My rating: 3/5

To the future

I'm tired and I should be in bed reading but here I am.
Our first midterm is tomorrow, so I guess that explains the state of nervousness I'm in, though the real anxiety will be tomorrow 5 minutes before the exam when even my stomach dreads it and it starts hurting.

I want to read continuously for hours, something that takes me to another world and makes me want to be a better person, something that is like no other, that will make me want to smile secretly to myself.

I want to watch a movie, any movie without feeling guilty.

I want to have long endless conversations about silly things, all night long with my sister... Then deciding we'll stop only to start again and go like that till it's nearly dawn!

I want to stop feeling like I always always have to prove myself to people, like whatever I do isn't enough. That guilt of having wasted some time only to think that I could have used that time to study to live up to the expectations I have of myself, and others have of me.

I want to live without thinking a step ahead, calculating every move and every word how they'll be understood and how they might get misunderstood, how to behave, talk, eat and even laugh. I've had it.

I want to do whatever I feel like without fearing people will be offended, that they may feel I'm neglecting them because I sometimes don't spend time with them, because I spend time with other people, because... because... because... Sometimes people will feel offended no matter what you do.

I want to be free from all of these worries.
I want to be free.

Dear mom

I didn't help out with house work all last year because I was a 12th grader who shouldn't do anything but study. Of course that and the fact that mom absolutely refused us helping her and taking away our precious time. Now we're 1st year medicine students and mom still won't let us even wash the lunch dishes. Of course our course is unbelievably demanding, but we knew what we signed up for. Exams are continuous and you have to study all the time, or most of the time anyways.
Sometimes we insist on at least washing the dishes because we honestly feel guilty about not doing anything. The clothes are left there hanging from weekend to the next till mom comes and gathers them without complaint, the room is always messy and she tidies it restlessly. I could go on and on about all the things she does and I'm sure I'd miss so many because we really don't pay attention and we're ungrateful people.
Mom would all the time say no to help, sometimes because she doesn't want us to waste time and sometimes.... sometimes it's for different reasons. One of them is this:
One day mom was going out to a gathering with family friends. She wanted to iron her scarf, I immediately volunteered. 'Mom, give it to me I'll do it'. She declined and said she could do it herself, I insisted wanting to do something for her. She finally gave way. I began the piece-of-cake task. It was a silk scarf so I knew I had to be careful, and I was. However the side I was ironing it on wasn't getting ironed as it should, so I turned it to the side and just as I put the ironer on it was burned. So quickly! Luckily it was only a little spot. I went and showed it to her, and she was like 'That's why I like to do things on my own.' Of course, after a while she came and apologized saying it was ok and she wasn't mad.

Yet, we still insist out of a need to help. I always want to help but not that often actually help, then when I get in the way which I always end up doing mom keeps trying to move around me and I feel her exasperation so I simply leave.

Another is when I try to help her with preparing lunch. She makes everything perfect while I keep on asking a million questions. She'd ask a simple request like put some oil on the pan, so I start pouring it and keep asking every second 'Mom, is this enough?'. And the problem is that I don't ask, I nag. I have this compulsive need to make sure what I'm doing is correct which annoys everyone around me.
Other examples are when she asks me to mop the floor, or more like when she starts mopping the floor and I go and insist I do it, then after I'm done she'll do it after me! That's frustrating really. Or when she started washing the clothes, and I walk into the bathroom demanding her to leave now because it's my job in the house to wash the clothes. She'd resist but then I get to the point of kicking her out. :P

Moms! You can never ever ever live without them. I'm beginning to appreciate that fact now when we live on our own and get to see my parents only during the weekends. So mom, even though I suck at helping you, you rock! You never ever get tired from fulfilling our endless needs, and you always make everything seem so easy while it's very hard.

Stylish Blogger Award

I've been awarded by Ash the stylish blogger award which is my first blogging award so let me gloat a bit!!
Well here are the rules:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 5 other bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

I pretty much said everything there is to know about me here on my blog, but here are 7 things about me.
1- On my wish list there's "Find a Career Line" and I haven't checked that yet though I'm studying medicine. I think that is because I didn't find this career, it found me. And I always thought medicine would be the last thing I do.
2- I will laugh and sometimes agree with what you say even though I didn't hear it just to avoid asking "what" a million times.
3- I don't drink coffee/cappacino or any of that stuff, and I hate anything bitter. I have no idea how people consume so much of these stuff.
4- I honestly get annoyed at overly pessimestic people who are like that to brace themselves for reality. There's nothing wrong with faith in God.
5- I know everything lies within me, but I am mostly too lazy to do what my mind tells me to do. Like stop wasting time, getting distracted and being moody. Not doing those things will sometimes make me mad at myself.
6- I discover new things about myself when I least expect them. (How lame huh! It's somewhat true though.)
7- I love books!!

I hereby announce the award winners:
Nema, who's a wonderful fellow blogger. She writes the most beautiful poems, shares the most interesting things and vents regularly her frustrations! Perfect blogger much?

Victoria, she's been there blogging for a while now and I love the fact that she's consistent.

Hala, her arabic posts are lovely. She shares really cool ideas. Wishing her the best this year :)

PS if this isn't the randomest post I don't know what is but it's been a draft for too long that I finally thought it must get published. I always have a hard time talking about myself!!

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Oman Mobile!

"Walk like an Egyptian"

I was hesitant to post on the revolution we're witnessing these days in Egypt. I'd stare at the box where I wanted to express my feelings but words always failed me and I gave up. I wanted to share my feelings, but I didn't know how.
My source to what's happening is Twitter. It's amazing how many people there have dedicated their tweets to update us on what's happening. To compare that to what protesters in Tahrir Square are doing, it seems so insignificant. It's really wonderful to see everybody watching the news, and praying for Egypt.
I just would like to express my deep respect to these people, who're sacrificing so much because they're standing up for their rights. Protesting peacefully. I didn't think Arabs were capable of doing something even much lesser than this, I admit I was gravely mistaken. Look at these people, not only do they give us courage, but they give us hope and reason to believe we have the power to do so much in the world.

I'll leave you with the words of my friend Nema, who wrote a very beautiful and moving post about this.

"To blog or not to blog, and what to actually blog about? That is my serious dilemma. I'm usually 24/7 on my blog(s), if not writing then reading and analyzing my old stuff and trying to improve-either with writing or with a reader's external point of view.
So, since the only thing people, who are home, keep discussing is Egypt and the ongoing crisis, and since it has actually become an international issue. I'll also take my leap and express:

• I'll start off with quoting Amr Salama: على فكرة طول عمري بقول إني بحب مصر، بس عمري ما فهمت و لا حسيت بحبي ليها زي دلوقتي.. أنا فعلا بحب مصر.. قوي

These words awoke this feeling within me; I, too, would have never ever fathomed why I loved this country, not to mention that I spent nearly 12 years abroad, and if you think about it you'd feel like I'm barely Egyptian, but I don't count my years.
I thought it's about friends and family, about its atmosphere in Summer and its hugs in Winter, I still think those are some reasons to love your country, but lets be more realistic here:

1- The people:

1. They made me cry; Christians protecting Muslims while doing their prayer? Seriously? I have never seen such a thing in the ENTIRE history.
2. Protesters beating security forces for having injured someone they don't even know.
3. The comedy-or shall I say black comedy-of the people, even in their darker days.
4. The songs, I would sometimes sing with them in front of the Tv, too bad I couldn't sing in the battlefield.
5. Their ability to fight and stand strong for their rights (sad some people think they're wasting time)..
6. The hospitality, the friendliness and the atmosphere they create, a thing of real beauty, heavenly beauty!

2-The Places:

1. Tahrir: Always and forever will be my favorite place to hang out. Back before the revolution it used to give me a feeling of being home, of "liberation". And now I know soon enough when I revisit it insha'allah, I promise to stand there for a moment with closed eyes and an open heart, and re-play all the videos I have watched on youtube and facebook, and relive the moments myself.
2. Game't Al-dowal, Dokki, Asr Elnile and Elgala2 bridge and Ramsees: I've been seeing all these places covered with heads, only heads and the sound of voices breathing desired freedom- I sometimes wish they'd never stop!

• I believe those people out there made some, who were careless about praying, pray just when seeing the enormous number of people standing there praying even with Security forces trying to drown them in water and distract them.

My country has risen, it has become internationally popular, with the words "Walk like an Egyptian" written everywhere. To have seen the people here become stronger is a thing, and to have seen the whole world asking the sick government to step down for my people is a whole new beautiful thing =)

• For those protesters out there, I'd like to send a message: If the government will keep its ugly conspiracy going for some time, I want you to know this: you have taught us how to speak for our rights, you have made many people politically aware of many things, you have given us faith in our country and strength to love it even more, you have made us speak up our minds like never before, you have made heroes out of yourself and of many people who followed, and you have given us freedom by being there, and freedom by writing this, you and only you!

I do thank Allah for having lived to see these historical days, and I hope the day will come for me to tell my children about you!
الحمد لله


P.S my words are a mere glimpse of my feelings."
Here's a link to the original post: http://haiku--life.blogspot.com/2011/02/child-to-my-feelings.html

Today

My hands smell of garlic, because we made pasta today which my family thought a bit tasteless but agreed on the end it was "delicious" because we cooked them dinner and they finished it. It's nice to cook. I cook with my sister but I usually give myself all the credit because I'm mean and selfish like that sometimes without knowing why. I think it tasted great. Beware, a chef in the making!! Yeah right!

Today was sort of dreary. We got our results from college which were beyond anything we would have expected. I know I'm bragging, but I own bragging rights for how scared I was of flunking biology. This sort of happiness doesn't last long, you're left with a very satisfying sense of gratitude though. I got upset because our holiday has been spent mostly at home, when all we would have liked is to have gone on an outing somewhere. We didn't even go watch a movie at the cinema, our last being Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. How sad I know. It's just that sometimes we wait for others to make things happen for us, and we realize it very late that we have to make things happen for ourselves. No complains though because we've been watching some pretty decent movies. The last being The King's Speech which was bloody brilliant.

Reading wise, I'm on my 3rd book this holiday so that's a major accomplishment. Though my reads have not been so entertaining to be honest. Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol was good but I'm craving a good classic!! I'll pick up something soon and if it's not satisfactory then I'll re-read one of the classics I love. (Sounds like a perfect plan to me!)

Here's to being yourself, throwing tantrums at the silliest things and not knowing what to say in so many moments. Not saying it's good, but if it's part of who I am then it's good for me!
<3

"I know!"

I am so frustrated with Arabs that I simply have to write about it. By Arabs I'm talking about different kinds of Arabs and here are a few:

Song writers: I don't know why lyrics are getting not only so cliched but even so silly and sometimes downright... I can't find the word for it, you can't listen to them without thinking that they seriously think people listen to a song without understanding what it says. This has got to do with every one in the music industry, but I really feel sorry for their talent which is going to waste.

Teenagers: Who listen to songs with really shameful meaning, thinking it's so cool. It's not, and if you actually took time to listen to the song you'd never listen to it again.
You're not supposed to talk English to each other, it's ok to talk Arabic. I hate that I almost let myself become one of those but I am trying harder to talk Arabic, I won't talk English anymore just because it's easier and it might make me look cooler. I don't need that. English isn't cool, we should do more of an effort to feel proud of our language.

TV shows (Anyone working in those shows): Can you please come up with interesting shows that are watchable and don't make a person want to bang their head on a wall? It's just outrageous. Just when we all thought real TV was out for good from here, it came back strong with a show about a "so-called" famous couple following their regular day-to-day life. First off, hardly anybody has ever heard of them, second it's so fake you can feel it.
Then this show I really hate, which I've never watched except maybe an hour of, just to see what it was about. The show is about celebrities' dreams and they make them come true. Could we be more superficial, material and unfeeling? I have no idea how come nobody ever cares about making a regular person's wishes come true!!! Those celebrities can make their own dreams come true, are we supposed to watch the show feeling happy for them because a "childhood" dream of theirs came true?
Can we have a show that gives? Simply gives to people, and I don't mean another contest show. I don't mind those, but how about giving to people who deserve it. I remember one time a show was trying to make a difference. A girl in Egypt worked selling things in streets, she was very young around 13 to 14. One of the show presenters went and gave her a makeover to make her feel better about herself. Wow! That's bound to make her life better, it's all about how you look. If you look pretty then there you go, you're future is secure. One outfit, she'll outgrow it soon, and she can hardly wear it everyday... Was that their best idea for the girl? It is so frustrating!!

I don't want to spread hate, I'm not I am just upset at hoe things are. How we are presented with things beneath us yet we are accepting them and beginning to like them. Can we rise above some things? Can we feel proud for who we are?
I would like to make a request of Arabs around me: You know you're not the only one living in this world, there are a lot of unprivileged people who need help and at least your sympathy. Can you listen to their problems, and try to understand without jumping down their throat with an attitude that says 'I have it worse!' Can you gain back your trust in people? Will you stop telling me all the things wrong with us Arabs and instead do something that shows me you're not like the rest and there's hope? Can you, I am trying. I am. And I'm not saying that to point the finger and sit back putting all the blame on everyone else. However, I'll stop. I just need people to stop listening to people explaining how they understand my frustration over Arabs and the fact that they feel it too, I need to see them trying to change that. If they don't, it just says they don't even care to change it.

So, please. Try.

PS1: Please excuse the grammar mistakes, I wrote it when I was frustrated.

Bliss

I clearly remember it was a Friday afternoon a few years ago, and like any good student I was supposed to be studying. That's what we usually did back then. I had a few pages left of the novel I was reading, so I was greatly tempted to finish it. As a general rule, I don't read when I'm supposed to study because the feeling of guilt doesn't make reading as enjoyable as it should be. For that particular situation however, I chose to read. The book was too tempting so I decided against studying, and I chose to finish it. It wasn't a very hard decision to make, and no one was around to catch me reading when I was supposed to be studying.
I just sat reading, wishing the book would never end. It was heartbreakingly beautiful. The author made you lose all hope, and just as you started to despair, flickers of happiness are waiting for you.
There's nothing, and I repeat nothing like a well written classic to take you to another time and place. Getting lost in the words and the beautiful language. Is there any better feeling in the world? Just about to finish a novel, not wanting it to end, wanting the best for the characters you love for a dose of hope, and simply letting the events take its course. Finishing the book, and not wanting to pick another because you know nothing will top it. You dwell on it for a day, and then give in to the itchy feeling that demands you to start another book and belong to it fully.

Yours,
Noor

PS: If you're interested in the book I mentioned, it was North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell. I never mentioned it here so here I am.

Photo courtesy: http://weheartit.com/entry/6165434

The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco

To be completely honest, I have to re-read the book to understand it well. I felt there were a lot of things I didn't understand because though I've read a few novels about churches and Christianity, I don't have enough background to catch up with the author's brilliancy.
I know I'd enjoy it if I could understand the mystery from the beginning. It's just a scary tale about crimes and books! I loved the way he made this book about books, and how passion can be misleading is genius.
I'd give a short description of the book, but other websites do it better since I'd focus on things I was interested in. At times the book made me feel I can change the world, but at other times it makes you feel like whatever you do has no effect. It makes you think, about right, wrong and how to judge between those.

Here are a few quotes I liked:
"Books are not made to be believed but to be subjected to inquiry. When we consider a book, we mustn't ask ourselves what it says but what it means"
Page 307

"After so many years even the fire of passion dies, and with it what was believed the light of the truth. Who is able to say now whether Hector or Achilles was right, Agmamemnon or Priam, when they fought over the beauty of a woman who is now dust and ashes?"
Page 384

"The good of a book lies in its being read"
Page 388

Have to thank Victoria who recommended this book!!