Sunday, August 7, 2011


"You forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget."
Cormac McCarthy

Our memory, beyond our control. Sometimes, you're sitting and you suddenly remember something, an incident that happened a long time ago, a very irrelevant one that makes you laugh in spite of yourself. A curious thing don't you think? I'd love to understand how memories work. How is it that you remember that particular thing at that moment? I always thought of that, and never got a satisfactory answer. I've accepted it but it never fails to amaze me.

I don't know if I have a good memory or not, I'm average in that aspect, I suppose. I always thought I remembered things better than the people I know. I could be gravely mistaken, because even though I remember the things they say I don't always show it. In fact, sometimes I wish I didn't remember them. They made me feel as if I cared more than they did, and that's always unsettling. I'd like people to know how much I care about them, and I try to make it as clear as possible but it's not always an easy task. To know that you care more than others, that you remember the things they tell you, that you'd like to tell them that, point it out. 'I remember you saying once...'
I'm sure they'd appreciate it, but what if they don't? What if they dismiss your remark, and never even realize that you actually remember them saying that? You can't live on 'what ifs', can you though? It's not a life. It's not fair to your friends, and not fair to yourself. I just wish our relationships with people were simpler. You say what's on your mind, they say what's on theirs and you genuinely care about each other. Simple, no?

So I ask you, why isn't it simple? Why does it have to be so complicated? Why all of those unreasonable thoughts running around your head? Are we doomed to always have complicated relationships with others? That's a scary thought, because it could be very much the case. Even if you succeeded in having a few simple relationships, there'll be a whole more that are complicated ones. So what? Are we to accept the complicated nature of relationships and try to work on them on that basis? Or should we work on simplifying them and they'll work themselves out?

I always find myself wondering about this, and I never seem to figure it out.

Dedicated to Noor.


Rohit said...

Its always tricky with relationships. I have noticed that for some reason, relationships are becoming increasingly complicated in today's age. Maybe its just me but I feel people tag their relationships a lot, tags of expectations, tags of pros & cons, tags of judgement...why create such a mess? I think we should accommodate shortcomings of every person who comes in or near our life. Nobody is perfect, we all share this planet, the whole world is a family. Why waste time and energy holding grudges and over petty disagreements? Life would be so much more beautiful if everyone could return an insult with a smile and anger with love!

Anyway that is just me being ridiculously optimistic, unrealistic more like. Nevertheless, as you say you feel you care more than others do, well done! That's a good way to simplify relationships...and loving one and all unconditionally. We only have so much time to live after all..might as well spread the joy around :)

I know I sound like a total!

Rummuser said...

Rohit and Noor, Hippy? You haven't met a real life one have you? I am the original retired hippy. Both my hip joints have been replaced and revised and now one is about to be revised again by end September.

Rohit said...

@Sir Ramana: ROTFL!!! You made my day...that was the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. I am not laughing at you having to have hip replacement, that is certainly a very sad thing for anyone, but in the spirit of humour :)

I hope and pray that you recover soon and get through your upcoming replacement like a breeze...

Leane said...

Relationships are as complicated as you choose to let them be. A good relationship depends on mutual respect and the willingness to communicate openly. Its simple, but not always easy.