Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Faith

We have plants in our flat now. I water them everyday, twice.
They're not ours. They're for my dad's friend, and we're looking after them while he's away. It's great. Though the sad thing is, we sometimes leave the house for a day or two and there's no one to water them. One of them is already dead, or very near that because it's seriously dry. I felt really sorry for it. The others aren't very much better, it's because of the weather here. It's very very hot.

I asked my mom why didn't we have plants? She explained that she tried keeping some a few years back but they wouldn't stay alive, besides we don't have much room in our home for them. I always thought I'd have a garden in my house, and I wouldn't dwell much on who would tend it. It demands time and effort. Now I'm thinking a few planets on the balcony wouldn't be so bad. The weather needs to be appropriate.

However, I'm not writing to express my future wishes for keeping a garden. I need to think out loud, because I've been thinking a lot these days and I don't think it's very healthy living inside my head. I've been reading, I don't know if it's the books I'm reading or it's me, but I'm not relating to books now, I'm reading for the sake of reading and I don't like that. I've been watching online most of the time I'm awake, and that has made me uncomfortable about the way I'm spending my Summer. I try to talk, but I have no idea what to say or how to say it. I'm thinking about my average, majors, universities and life after this Summer. And I'm also thinking about getting a BlackBerry.
I always hated my lack of confidence in the decisions I make, I hate the state of indecisiveness I'm in, and I hate how big a deal I'm making everything look like because it may just happen to be normal. Perhaps it's the right state of being for me right now, but I hate the state of unproductiveness I'm in. I need to read books, be able to help around in the house, watch movies, learn how to drive, and not spend the day inside of my head thinking and thinking of what I should be doing. I need to simply think and act.
I think it's because I'm nervous about my future, and that's normal, and because last year not a day went to waste without a humongous guilt. This is the transition needed to get back to leading a normal life. So this needs to come out.

I have faith in myself, and I need to start acting upon it.
Let's act upon on!

5 comments:

Rohit said...

I know this is supposed to be about faith, but...congratulations on thinking of getting a Blackberry! Join the blackberry revolution..lol! No seriously it makes life so much easier. Iphone and all are for kids to play with, blackberry is the real thing =P

Now about the post, our house has got a big garden and in the beginning it had a lot of plants but its so damn hard to maintain! Its nice and all with many little birds always coming there but too much unless you have a lot of time.

If you ever get a house with a garden, make sure its either a small garden or comes free with a gardner =D

Noor said...

@Rohit hahaha! u have one too? that's awesome. I do want one too. Inshallah soon...

oh I'll definitely think about the free gardener, I told you marrying rich solves a lot of problems in one's life. I'll think about that. :P kidding!

thanks for commenting amigo

Knee said...

You can do this..write it down on paper..it's more serious than online.

Rohit said...

Yes and I love it...its just one of those awesome things which rarely come about and when they do its a revolution! I really mean it, like internet, blog, facebook, games, ms office, maps and gprs navigator, media player, camera..and all other useless things in one little brilliant device! how cool is that! Plus the best part is BB messenger, free IM's forever between blackberry users all over the world..no need to sms =D lol this turned out to be a review but well am excited haha..

Noor said...

@Knee thanks lovely. I just might take your advice. For me, the stuff I write on paper have higher chances of happening so you definitely have a point there.

@Rohit lol. yeah they should hire you to promote it.. but it is pretty awesome, I'll let you know when I get one. :D