Yesterday, at the mall, my heart was broken. I expected the situation, tried to brace myself for it but when I finally saw it, I was sad beyond measure. How could they? Have they no thought for me? I remembered all the time I spent there and grieved at how I'll never have it back.
Let me start from the beginning.
I often complain about having no place to get books from here. We have 2 Borders branches. One is quite big, our biggest bookshop and another small one. The big one is where we mostly get our books from. We spend quite sometime there when we're at the mall, even if we know we won't get anything we'll just go browse books, see what new books they have and stare at books. I was often let down by them, I can't even remember how many times I'd ask about a book and they'd say they didn't have it. I was quite exasperated, always expecting a 'Sorry, it's not available.'
Sometimes, we'd get so many at once, others we'd go back and forth over a book we know we'll eventually get. Is it the right time for it? That is till one of us decides a solid decision. A definite yes, it's due time. A no, it can wait. We'd hold the Borders bag proudly, one of my parents would ask 'You got books?' and with a grin we reply 'Yes!' They never commented on how much books we get, it was always us who kept a check on our purchasing sprees. We managed quite well. I'm proud of the books I have. I remember just once, before we started 12th grade, we asked mom money for a book. She said no, we wouldn't have time to read it. I remember how upset we were, it was the first and last time she said no. Of course, sometime later she was like 'fine, you know better you can go buy it.' We refused, we were quite upset she refused in the first place. I can remember that incident with a smile now. We eventually got the book a few months later. (The book was Eclipse, so mom was definitely right about refusing!)
I even gained a friend at Borders. One of the sales assistants, he'd always welcome us, comment on how many books we've got, tell us we haven't been there for a while, and even wave hello when we would sometimes just pass Borders by. I always wanted to start a conversation with a person there, tell them the book they're checking is worth reading, or ask them about reading but I never did. I don't know why. It could be my shyness, and fear of intrusion. Yet, it could be that I never really saw the passion of reading in someone there. I'm sure it was there, I know I'm not the only one here with that passion but they never showed it I guess, or I missed it. I would have wanted to see someone lingering, staring at books, admiring them.
So, the Borders is in on the 1st floor. You can see it from the ground floor, the glass and door that is. I knew it closed, and I was bracing myself for it. I told Huda, I want to go see it. I forgot you can see it from down below, so I looked at its way and saw what they did. You know how you expect it but you're still surprised by how you feel about it? Big posters of Toys R Us covered all the glass. I understand they're having financial problems, but why our biggest branch? Why? Why? Why? And to think that there's a possibility that the other branch closes if they don't meet their sales expectations in 3 months.
There was no warning too. A unusually long discount was there, their very first. We were suspicious but didn't think they were closing. I can't even fathom the mall now, what am I going to do with the urges to go spend time with books? The place wasn't all that big, but big enough to feel yourself lost in a world of books.
Will they open another bookshop? I hope they do, and I really hope they don't close the last branch standing. I know not many people buy books here, most days Borders is deserted but there are people there usually. A few, but enough to make them rethink their decision to close it.
How sad. Sad. Sad. Sad.