Do you know how when you plan things in your mind, and think of how you'll act in certain situations? I always do that, looking at the fact that I almost live in my head, I think you can relate to this, right?
Anyways, I always feel like I say the wrong thing, always! It's very frustrating, how you think you'll say the right thing, or even better not say much so that you'll say the wrong stuff, but I just can't stop. I try to stay silent and not say anything, and let the moment pass because other people will comment, knowing that if I voiced my opinion it'd mean that I'd probably end up saying something I'd regret later, and would be glad if I didn't say it at all. I know sometime's it's all about saying what you think, and I'm all up for that but in certain things I'm not. I'd rather keep my opinion to myself knowing that it wouldn't change a thing, and a couple of minutes later it'd be forgot, so why make people angry with something I wouldn't mean a few hours after pondering upon it?
It's just truly frustrating! Feeling that I can't stop myself sometimes. And how words sometimes get out of my mouth that just aren't what I think, and don't represent what I stand up for at all. And I wish I could be the person who simply forgets it, and moves on, because other people (thankfully) do. But I can't! I keep on playing it over and over in my head until I eat myself up with guilt. It's not healthy, that's why I'm trying to venture out my feelings here.
Words! Sometimes they can be totally working against me.