Thursday, June 11, 2009


Do you know how when you plan things in your mind, and think of how you'll act in certain situations? I always do that, looking at the fact that I almost live in my head, I think you can relate to this, right?

Anyways, I always feel like I say the wrong thing, always! It's very frustrating, how you think you'll say the right thing, or even better not say much so that you'll say the wrong stuff, but I just can't stop. I try to stay silent and not say anything, and let the moment pass because other people will comment, knowing that if I voiced my opinion it'd mean that I'd probably end up saying something I'd regret later, and would be glad if I didn't say it at all. I know sometime's it's all about saying what you think, and I'm all up for that but in certain things I'm not. I'd rather keep my opinion to myself knowing that it wouldn't change a thing, and a couple of minutes later it'd be forgot, so why make people angry with something I wouldn't mean a few hours after pondering upon it?

It's just truly frustrating! Feeling that I can't stop myself sometimes. And how words sometimes get out of my mouth that just aren't what I think, and don't represent what I stand up for at all. And I wish I could be the person who simply forgets it, and moves on, because other people (thankfully) do. But I can't! I keep on playing it over and over in my head until I eat myself up with guilt. It's not healthy, that's why I'm trying to venture out my feelings here.
Words! Sometimes they can be totally working against me.


Unknown said...

Oh I definitely plan what I'm going to say and sometimes don't say anything, even though I regret staying silent afterwards. I'm working on this, though, so fortunately it's not one of my biggest problems at the moment :P

I know, it's difficult to stop worrying after you said it! I can't let go of the mistake after I do it either, even if it's not exactly related with words. But hey, it's a grow & learn kind of process, you just have to tell yourself something like "Let it go, let it go"! It won't change much at first, but in a while you'll be able to actually let it go :)

Thanks for sending me the Avaaz petition, I posted about Bagua on YFCI. This whole thing is crrraaazyyy! Haha smiiiles, love you habibti :D!

Ashok said...

lol I plan a lot before I speak too. But see the point is there is a certain circle with whom you have to be cautious about what you say and there is that circle where you can let your guard down and speak your mind. In the case of the latter, it is okay no matter what you say. In any event, being safe doesn't work well all times. You learn through arguments more than you learn through those pretty perfect discussions. So its okay, speak your mind and if it pisses people off, well its only because they not not the person about whom they are angry. Its their loss not yours :)

rummuser said...

Noor, you are not alone. No matter what anyone may say,the most difficult thing to do is to be aware all the time of the thoughts that go through one's mind and articulating it without moderating it. It takes a lot of practice to get the mind and tongue and control, and as long as no serious damage is done, just enjoy yourself and do not feel guilty. The problem is always the feeling guilty part! Drop that and you will well be on the way to be a Sufi!