Sometimes I think of leaving this blog to another cyber space but I think of the fact that I've been here for five years now and I feel a sudden affection for my blog. I love it here, who am I kidding? This is me, not all of me of course for to say that would be a lie. Yet, it's the part of me that I choose to reveal. I've changed so much since I first started. I was 14 when I started it, what did I know now that I didn't know then? I'm not sure it accounts to much.
It's home, in more than one way. I will say it again and again that blogs are a blessing and I find comfort in reading many of them, so I can only write here in hope that a lost confused soul finds little comfort in mine. I have to convince myself of that sometimes, but at times I think I'm the lost confused soul that needs to be comforted so I shamelessly stalk my blog.
A new found admiration for the written word, and so I clumsily make my way into the writing world faking nonchalance. If you talk yourself into it, it gets easier you know? Writing what will eventually make you more at ease in your own skin. A little of that chaos of your your mind into letters and words screaming out more meaning than they should be asked to carry. So you stop writing, because it's dizzying. Your brain starts asking you to make sense of things words can't simply express. You read instead, and there, here's someone who's managed to make sense of it all when they don't even know the first thing to living your life.
So it's an addictive act. You know it fully well when you're writing a blog post. I used to publish everything right away, now I wait. I edit and sometimes I decide against the whole thing till a few days later I muster up enough courage to share it with the world. I'm not sure if that means I lack courage or it's that I'm more of a perfectionist now? A bit of both perhaps. So, for now. This gets to stay as it is.
Thank you for reading.
It's home, in more than one way. I will say it again and again that blogs are a blessing and I find comfort in reading many of them, so I can only write here in hope that a lost confused soul finds little comfort in mine. I have to convince myself of that sometimes, but at times I think I'm the lost confused soul that needs to be comforted so I shamelessly stalk my blog.
A new found admiration for the written word, and so I clumsily make my way into the writing world faking nonchalance. If you talk yourself into it, it gets easier you know? Writing what will eventually make you more at ease in your own skin. A little of that chaos of your your mind into letters and words screaming out more meaning than they should be asked to carry. So you stop writing, because it's dizzying. Your brain starts asking you to make sense of things words can't simply express. You read instead, and there, here's someone who's managed to make sense of it all when they don't even know the first thing to living your life.
So it's an addictive act. You know it fully well when you're writing a blog post. I used to publish everything right away, now I wait. I edit and sometimes I decide against the whole thing till a few days later I muster up enough courage to share it with the world. I'm not sure if that means I lack courage or it's that I'm more of a perfectionist now? A bit of both perhaps. So, for now. This gets to stay as it is.
Thank you for reading.
6 comments:
Bakasir rassik if you leave *serious threat*
A love for words is deeply ingrained in you, you may feel sick at times, minutes, days, weeks or months...but you will come back, always. Because in words lies your true vocation <3
Keep it, cherish it, and stalk it all you want. It's all urs and no one can blame you for loving this little piece of you.
@ Ammar: your threat is taken into consideration :S
@ Noor I can't believe you said words are my true vocation. Thank you! <3
@ ze2red I couldn't agree more. Very well said.
Please don't even think of departure,
think about all the people you have inspired, all the people who are waiting to read what you wrote in every single week.
5 years that seem a lot, thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.
And I liked how you said those words in the article!
thanks!
@Aya No, thank you. Your so kind wallahi, I'm glad I have you as a reader.
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