Being

We always have expectations of people, and although at times we try to convince ourselves these expectations are wrong, we keep them. Every opportunity out there for them to live up to our expectations, they fail to do so.
Perhaps we should let go of these expectations forever and value the things they do without us asking them to. How many times have you told yourself you'll give people a chance to do something? I just always catch myself waiting for people to do something for me, but then after them failing to do it I laugh at my own silliness. How would they ever understand what I need them to do if I never told them what it was? I don't understand myself sometimes, let alone understand people which I would never claim to do.
People are strange, and there in the back of my mind there's a place that's always criticizing and commenting, though I dislike people who do that out loud, does that make me a hypocrite? I hate to think so.
What I never can truly grasp is that we're just different, what we go through isn't the same. Even if it was our reaction to it would never be the exact same. I think what we go through in life makes us who we are, and at a certain point we can only choose our attitude towards what's happening.
So what am I saying really?
I guess these days I'm realizing how much of an individual I am, and it's a good thing for the most part. I realize the freedom I have in my thoughts and actions. I don't know if that realization is doing me any good, I just want to change and go back to being an optimist but what I'm turning into is someone who's down and can't even have decent conversations with people.
Is that normal? Sometimes I think everybody went through what I'm going through so why am I complaining so much? And other times I think what I'm going through is just for me and no one else.
Which is it I have no idea. I guess I need an accomplishment to make me feel better. One such accomplishment would be to finish War and Peace but I don't know when will that ever happen?

Yours with a bit of confusion,
Noor